noms blows a gasket - chapter the hell you say?!

WTF

WHAT. THE HELL. IS. THIS.

My perfectly normal workday was completely derailed by seeing this and its associated article on Twitter. And then when I got home I had to install a widget on my website so I could insert pictures to pictorially represent the horror we're dealing with. It took me a minute, but my rage has not subsided.

I did see this picture a while back and I guess I just didn't absorb the gravity of the situation. Or I stuck my head under a rock that was just now jarred loose.

fuck this noise

Luckily the same website that covered the monstrosity pictured above had coverage of that. So APPARENTLY there was a fuzzy-wuzzy branch of Hydra that Steve Rogers was a part of but now thanks to the Cosmic Cube he was "...always a fascist, but no one, not even he himself, knew."

With halfhearted apologies to any family members, former professors and potential employers who may be reading this - Bullshit. Absolute fucknuggetry. Chocolate weaksauce-covered lower mammal dingleberries.

JACKHAMMERED TITMONGERING WHIFFLEPONCING POLEGOBBLERS.

Ahem.

Let me get my thoughts in order here.

I saw an article the other day that was entitled "15 Reasons The Force Awakens Is The Worst Star Wars Movie" and my gut reaction was that no, you can't claim to have objective truth on the subject of art because it is all subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. What's terrible for one person is gold for another. I have also, as my previous posts have mentioned, been trying to drink less of the haterade in general... however for this? For this I will guzzle the void-juice and spew the resulting vitriol wherever I can find an ear to pour it in. I feel like creators who are given a previously established character to work with have a sacred obligation to continue the intended tradition of that character. Hell, I even believe the creator who makes up the character should have some kind of pact with themselves to be consistent in the execution of that character's actions.

I mean. I'm not going to go all Annie grah I will cut off your feet for killing my favorite character Wilkes on anyone. Physically. Verbally however, if I ever meet the douchecanoe behind this decision I will eviscerate them with my shouted tongue-flappings.

In this case I am claiming objective, Platonic terribleness for this story decision. Yeah, go ahead and pull out the Cosmic Cube altered-reality we-have-every-right-to-do-this cocknockery. Because I can seem to form a sentence without some kind of profanity I will illustrate my point with pictures. I installed the picture widget on this site and by the great old ones I am going to get mileage out of it.

whee!  shapes!

Here, we have a parallelogram. Nice, ain't it? Here's another shape.

ta-da!

You will notice something different about it. Not all the sides are parallel. So therefore it is NOT A PARALLELOGRAM. It is not an "edgy" parallelogram. It is not a parallelogram with some issues. It is a TRAPEZOID.

So yes, the mantle of Captain America has been taken over by Sam Wilson I guess but I would like to posit that Steve Rogers is just as much a symbol of NOT-facism as Cap is. It was Captain America who tried to enlist into the army to fight Nazi's several times despite being rejected. That was Steve Rogers. I'm pretty sure I read the Ultimates before I read the New Avengers and started following the Civil War stuff, so my prime mental image of Steve/Cap is this.

Pro-tip - the Ultimates is an amazing series but only the first two volumes. Don're read the third one. I've read it. I own it. I suffered through it for you. You're welcome. Just... yeah, the first two. My point is by doing this reality-altering bullshit they have changed Steve Rogers into something fundamentally NOT STEVE. He is now a trapezoid. I don't care if there's awesome writing or art going into this. The foundation is broken. It's not Steve. Not my Captain America. Where is the Steve who stopped to reflect on his place in the world after the attack of the Liberators? Questioning whether he still represented freedom by being America's policeman?

I kind of ran out steam and got a rage headache yesterday so I'm finishing this post today. So if there's a slight difference in tone, that is why. I realize that there a such thing as headcannon, but on this I feel like I shouldn't have to resort to that in this situation. Some nibnard was given control over a beloved character and they completely borked it. With all that's going on today this would be a PERFECT opportunity for Cap to be who he was envisioned to be - accepting, just, kind and strong. Someone who could see the line between allowing people to have their own ideals and looking the other way when innocents are threatened.

Everyone has their fandom things they get worked up about, beloved things that need to stay consistent in their eyes. I'm not sure when I got so emotionally invested in Marvel characters - I think it was about the time I read the House of M, Avengers Disassembled, and New Avengers. And the cinematic universe really cemented them all in my heart.

I'm running out of steam again and now I'm just sad. So much lost opportunity for great stuff. For what? Sales? Controversy driving financial gain? Is this really the same company that produced Kamala Kahn?

Excuse me, I'm going to go watch Captain America: Civil War. Because apparently only Marvel things that come on a screen are worth anything anymore. Also, I will say I'm glad they didn't go with the Ultimate Black Widow for the cinematic universe. That would be terrible. And speaking of Ms. Marvel... can we get that in the movies plox and TYVM?

Look! Buttons!
WHAT. THE HELL. IS. THIS. My perfectly normal workday was completely derailed by seeing this and its associated article on Twitter. And then when I got home I had to install a widget on my website so I could insert pictures to pictorially represent the horror we're dealing with." data-share-imageurl="">

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